Corporal punishmentI received a call from the local paper this morning asking my opinion on whether corporal punishment should be banned or not. There is a huge media uproar in Victoria, Australia at the moment about this very issue as they try to have it banned. So should it be?

This is a sensitive and debatable topic that doesn’t have a clear and concise answer. What one parent deems as appropriate others will see as a crime. The sad truth is, hitting children or the punishment we dish out is very subjective to our own experiences as a child and how we have been raised.

What one parent sees as appropriate, others would see as inappropriate. If you were raised in a home where you were smacked regularly but don’t have horrific memories of beatings, then you may see smacking as an appropriate form of discipline. If you have never been smacked then you may see it as totally inappropriate.

What each adult sees as a smack is also subjective. There is everything from a gentle tap on the bottom, to hitting a child so hard that they are thrown across the room. If we legislate that there is to be no corporal punishment, both would be ruled out where one may be appropriate. There are parents that NEED the legislation to protect their children and there are others who are parenting appropriately who’s hands would be tied if this law was brought in.

There are many other ways to discipline a child and of course, we all agree that a child has to learn that there are consequences to actions, that is the reality of any good citizen in a society. But I have seen families who NEVER smack their children, but will leave them in a room by themselves (little children) for over half a day with no contact, no food or water. I don’t deem that as appropriate either.

Research as appeared in the London Telegraph suggests that smacking makes children naughtier. Their quote was ”

Children who are smacked are more aggressive and have poorer mental development than those who are verbally castigated, studies have found.”

I wonder if those studies included children who were forcefully and emotionally abused using other means than by physical. I have seen children cower and shrink with parents who never hit, but their verbal and emotional abuse is unthinkable.

We do need changes as children are getting hurt but we can’t forget there are good parents out there who are parenting appropriately and raising responsible, loving and caring children who will contribute greatly to the communities they are part of.

My fear, is that if we legislate, it will not help the problem but drive it further underground, having those that already hurt their children inappropriately do it in ways that it will never been seen – be good out in public, but the child will really cop it when they get home!

We need education. We need to educate parents about what is appropriate, educate them about their child’s development and give them strategies and tools to use to help them. Some parents don’t have those tools as they have never been taught them. Some have to rethink their own boundaries of what is appropriate and may need to make major changes to their own belief systems.

Unfortunately, education is only taken and applied by those who WANT to apply it. We can educate as much as we want but those that don’t want to change or use it won’t. So what do we do? I do think we can’t just sit back and leave it the way it is, something has to be done but I am not convinced that legislating will solve the issue.

I say more education as a starting place and that is exactly what this site is all about. While it won’t change the issue overnight, we still need to praise and uplift those that are doing a great job and encourage those that need to do better. We are in this society together – a village helped to raise a child in days gone by and some of that was positive. I think we have lost that support network for parents and the strain shows.

What do you think?

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Filed under: Child Discipline

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